"There's no more need to pretend /Cause now I can begin again"

That round of antibiotics that was supposed to kill the H. Pylori didn't quite work. I still feel sick. My stomach is cramping again and I've had constant headaches for the past 2 days. My appetite is gone again. But instead of only taking fluids and not wanting solids, I don't want to drink or eat anything at all. I have the hardest time willing myself to drink anything consistently. The only thing I want to do is curl up in a ball with my hands over my eyes and not move. I called up P.A. Steve today. We'll see what he has to say tomorrow when he's back in the office and gets my message. Part of me is hoping for something called "quadruple therapy".

"An increasing number of infected individuals are found to harbour antibiotic-resistant bacteria. This results in initial treatment failure and requires additional rounds of antibiotic therapy or alternative strategies such as a quadruple therapy. Bismuth compounds are also effective in combination with the above drugs. For the treatment of clarithromycin-resistant strains of H. pylori the use of levofloxacin as part of the therapy has been suggested."

That's a lot of medical jargon, but what I do understand about it is that I sure as hell have the antibiotic resistant kind of bacteria in my stomach. I thought I was better on some level. I haven't felt great, but I didn't feel quite as bad as I did before I started the antibiotics. I just assumed my stomach was repairing itself. But with the stomach cramping coming back the way it has, I know it's not gone. The loss of appetite confirmed it.



It was a complete and total chore to get me to ingest anything today. My Mom finally played the dirty trick of having me eat saltines. They were so dry that I had to drink Gatorade just so I didn't completely die. At the end of the day,I really haven't eaten that much. I just finished my first, actual meal: a bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. As much as I just don't want to eat, there comes a point where I know that I have to just to get by no matter how little appetite I have.

I'm hoping that the quadruple therapy will work, (if it's prescribed). I know that I don't want my gall bladder out. I hope that's not the solution. That's going to cost a shit-load because I don't have insurance. I'm exhausted because I'm sleep deprived. I'm exhausted because my body has been sick for so long. I'm exhausted because it's been so mentally taxing. I just hope that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't far off. I don't know how much longer I can put up with this. 3 months is far too long.