"We've been trying/ to mix it up..."

I realized yesterday when I followed the link to this blog, that I haven't updated it for almost 6 months. Normally, that's not something that I would be overly concerned about. The blog that I actually use has been update much more recently. But that blog is far more private, and is for my closest of friends. I have several reasons that I don't offer up my thoughts for public consumption that I may need to enumerate here:

1- I find it much easier to express myself when I don't feel like I have an unlimited audience. My actual, factual journal is kept online (with hard copies for posterity) and in order for me to feel like I can fully express myself, I need a controlled space to do that. My blog used to be public several years ago and that didn't work out well at all. Besides, everything I wrote was superficial and a huge waste of time.

2- Because most of my friends and I have to communicate in creative ways, my blog is a form of communication with those people as well as myself. If I want you to read my blog, there is the possibility that I will allow you to do so. I realize that this makes me sound rather elitist. Just understand that this blog is more superficial and RARELY updated while my actual blog is updated frequently. I discuss personal things and I don't want to share them with everyone on "the tubes". My family can't even read that blog, so don't feel bad.

Actually, I can be persuaded to let others read my actual blog. But it involves some asking and whatnot. But not everyone is approved, so just understand that now.

3- Finally, I just don't like Blogger. It's gives me a rash.

With that out of the way, I'm going to do an actual update.

I'm no longer sick. Looking over this blog it seems to have been an additional place that I chronicled my 14.5 week illness this past summer. That was primarily because I was living out of state and my family wanted a blog they could read. I continued to update it after I had to move back home for reasons that I don't know that I understand. (Some of the entries are copied and pasted from my actual blog/journal/whatever because I was too sick to be "creative" twice.)

I finally started to feel normal in September. The first couple of weeks back at work were tough, but now I'm completely and totally healed in every way. Yes, it was frustrating to have something easily cured become a chronic, undiagnosable problem. Yes it blows not having insurance. No, I'm not going back to Texas. Texas has messed with me for years and I am now rejecting it. First the whole drama with my ex-boyfriend and then H. Pylori.

So now I'm back at my regular job and working on moving my career forward. I've passed the first part of the NIC written test and I'm looking at taking the Interview/Performance portion soon. In a large and general way of looking at things, my life isn't awfully exciting. But then again, that's how most people are. If life was THAT exciting every day, then you aren't normal.

The things I'm currently dealing with on a day-to-day basis are the kinds of things I discuss privately in my blog. Not that they are things I'm ashamed of or want hidden. Again, it's something for me and the people I chose to share that with. However my most current obstacle is my dog. He's just turned 16 and so I'm dealing with numerous health issues with him: impending blindness, heart problems, and a declining mental state. Because we've been the best for friends for more than half of my life, this isn't something that's been easy to deal with. But time and some vet visits have made things easier for both of us.

Outside of that, I doubt this blog will get much in the way of updates. If you are dying to read my actual blog, you can contact me. If you don't have my contact info, then chances that I will allow you to read it are slim to none.